Why are we resilient to Change?

Why are we resilient to change?- be it changing ourselves for good or the surroundings that we live or even the material possessions that we own or as a matter of fact our work place?

Though the 'change' is for something better, we feel insecure and also unsure of what the future has in store for us. It is always hard to let go- be it humans or the material possessions.

Most people are fearful of change because they don't believe they have any control over how or when it happens to them. Since change happens either to the individual or by the individual, what matters most is the attitude we have about change.

During my high school days, i had read the book 'Who moved my Cheese?' by Spencer Johnson. The book describes the changes in one's work and life, and four typical reactions to the said change by two mice "Sniff" and "Scurry," and two little people,"Hem" and "Haw.", during their hunt for cheese.

Likewise i see a lot of people whose lives turn for good yet they keep cribbing about trivial issues like weather, transport, traffic etc.

Can people ever accept life as it comes to them without much qualms?

What to do instead of gnawing about change? (As written by 'Haw' on finding the new cheese station)

1.Change Happens - They Keep Moving The Cheese

2.Anticipate Change - Get Ready For The Cheese To Move

3.Monitor Change- Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old

4.Adapt To Change Quickly- The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese

5.Change- Move With The Cheese

6. Enjoy Change!- Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!

7. Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again- They Keep Moving The Cheese

Rather than focusing only on the negative impact due to change, let's embrace the change for the betterment of ourselves. Remember if the caterpillar was resilient to change then we wouldn't see the butterfly

'Don't be afraid to change for you may lose something good but may gain something better'.

P.S. This post was written when i was having butterflies to replace my phone that i had been using since 7th August 2011. I got a new phone as a birthday gift from my sister :) 

Power of thoughts

There is a saying which goes like this: watch your thoughts for they become your words, watch your words for they become your actions..

This indicates that thoughts directly or indirectly control your life and its actions. So be careful about what you think. If you think positive, you can achieve miracles. If you are negative even the simplest of the tasks becomes tough.

There is one story to illustrate the effects of negative thoughts and actions: In some part of the world, there is a village in which of the villagers need firewood from a tree which is lush and green, all of them surround it and curse it the result of which makes the tree go dry and eventually die from which they collect dry wood for their livelihood.

Similarly the power train of thoughts in one's mind can make or break the person's life. For instance the cricketer Yuvraj Singh and the actress Manisha Koirala were able to cure themselves from the bout of cancer mainly due to the positivity that they had. From my personal experience, my grand dad was able to overcome his first bout of cancer due to his positivity and later succumbed to it when it returned three years later just because he gave up on himself and his life.

So beware of what you think.. Be positive (not only in terms of blood group but also in your thoughts). Nothing is ever unattainable.

During those tough times....

As all the days in the year cannot be the same in that there are sunny days, rainy days, chilly days so are the days in our lives: Some good, some bad and others worst. While all we want to remember are only the good times, we cannot ignore the learning from the not-so-good times.

How to deal with these minor/major set-backs of life?

There are innumerous ways in which people deal with such times- Some cry, some fret, some start socializing while others withdraw into their shells till they feel better.

I feel that when one is facing tough times, one needs to:

1. Try harder: If certain situations can be set right by putting in a little extra effort, then go the extra mile and get things right
2. Be Patient: If there is nothing that can be done about a situation, then be patient as the best days are yet to come
3.  Find an alternative: If the tough times are something that can be changed such as heartbreaks, find an alternative- take up a new hobby, start doing something that you have discontinued. If you are passionate about painting, paint ; if you like dancing start dancing; if you are keen about writing- write.
4. Think of times/ things that make us happy: It gives in the much required positivity in life
5. Be Positive: The current times are not the end. In fact they are the stepping stones to better tomorrows
6.  Don’t lose hope: for that gives the strength to face the world better 
7. Socialize: Never get drawn into your own world for that makes you think more about the tough times and there are chances that you may get an on-rush of self-pity which is absolutely unnecessary
8. Confront/Talk: More often than not we find situations wherein the people who are the reason behind the tough times are worse than the situation itself. At such times, confront the person, sit down and talk it out rather than bearing the grudge forever. It can  help clear the stale bad air and may also make the person treat you right.

                                                    Pic source: Google

In case you know anyone who is undergoing tough times Listen- for at times, people don’t need you to sympathize or your advices. All they need is a patient ear as they will be able to clear their brains off the things that is bothering them. They will end up being stronger and calmer

There is always a reason for everything that happens in life. You are in charge of everything. Make the best of what has been offered.

Remember: THE BEST IS YET TO COME!


Keep Smiling :)

Why am I me?

How can I hate others when all that I have for myself is pure hatred?

While it is easy to love someone why is it that its so darn difficult to love oneself?

What is it that I have done that though there are a lot many people who love me for what I am, I am unable to love myself?

Why is it that when it is easier for people around to brag about themselves, that I find it difficult to even utter a word about what I have been?

Why is it that I cant let me take pride for having done things which a lot many can only dream of?

Why do I feel that i find it easy to push myself hard when things are tough than reward myself when 
it is a job well done?

Why have I let down my parents when all I have wanted is make them proud?

Why am I being curt?

Why am I me?

Yet I can't dream of being anyone else apart from being me.. Is there an end to my mind's rumblings?

Quarter life crisis

Well no prizes for guessing the meaning of the post title.

Let me explain the meaning for most of us who are coming across this word for the first time. We all have heard and known what is meant by a mid-life crisis which is a fear or feeling for people in age group 35-50 who have spent half of their lives. It is the time of their life wherein they have everything set in their life- earning a decent salary, a good and understanding family, a planned retirement, a top and comfortable position in the company that they are working for quite some time now, less of reporting to somebody else and lot of being reported to about the what, hows etc. Yet a question looms as to if the wealth he or she has accumulated is enough to take care of the family till the end, if the right decisions have been made in the past, about the careers and the education of the children, if their spouses still love them the same etc and what is it that could have been done better?

Coming back to the blog title, it is a question that hovers in the minds of most of them in the age group - 25 to 30. Most of them would have completed their graduation (provided they have not had a lot of year-backs) and would have added a minimum of 2+ years of professional experience and a few travels to their curriculum vitae. It is that age wherein the gloominess of everything sets in. Till the age of 22 or 23 we would be taken care off well by our parents and the only tensions that we have in our lives would be those of exams and more often than not of heart-breaks. Our parents and all elders would have been asking us to just concentrate on our studies as our grades will pave a way for our grandeur future. Well when we are in our mid-20's we realise that the student days were the best days of our lives as everyday now we face a different exam. Earlier trusting someone would be easier but having faced the brutal world, it becomes difficult to trust our own self. Adding fuel to the confusions, we start doubting our capabilities and also wonder if we have made the right career choice for ourselves, friends drift apart as there is less time for self let alone friends. Even if we break this barrier and try to make time for friends, a wave of uncertainty glooms in when the same friends who would be ready to do anything for you and viceversa do nothing apart from boasting off their minor (and major) accomplishments.

Long term friendships, relationships come to an end abruptly. Love, trust, understanding give way for doubt, ego and pride. The child like self-confidence of winning the world over will make way for self-doubt.

During college days there would be constraints on the money. Now inspite of having thousands and lakhs of rupees in our accounts we seldom have time or friends to share our feelings.

We realise that the canteen-chai and samosas were more tastier as there would be people and ample time to share it with and also do masti as against the heavy wallets that gives you the freedom to choose the 5-star or 7-star hotel of your choice yet no one for company or time.

All these make people mature and grow old fast.. Do you have the time to spend with friends or friends to spend time with?

Cherish each moment for the time spent is the time lost..


<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11631749/?claim=njm9eb35u5p">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Modala maleyante...

Modala maleyante edege ilide mellage

Modala kanasante olave olide ommege

Chachidaa kaige aakashave tagide

Geechida haage malebille maigantide

Hosa samvatsara hosa manvantara

Shuruvaagide aagide eega….

You have descended into my heart slowly like the first rain

I have started liking you instantaneously just like the first dream my love

Am able to touch the sky with my outstretched hands

The rainbow is pasted to my body as if someone has scratched it

New calendar, new architecture

is starting now

Modala maleyente edege ilide mellage...

You have descended into my heart slowly like the first rain


Nee nanage siguvaa munna

Ellellu baride mouna

Koti koti swara omme chimmo thara

Bande nee hattira ninte baanettara

Kanmuchi kanbittare badalaagide ee dhare

Hosa samvatsara hosa manvantara

Shuruvaagide aagide eega….

Before i met you,

there was profound silence everywhere

Just like Millions and millions of vowels spurt at a time

you come near me and stand as tall as the clouds

Each time i close and open my eyes, the world looks changed

New calendar, new architecture
is starting now

Ondondu kushiguu indu

Naa iduva hesare  nindu

Nanna ekantake antya nee haadide

Sundara swargake nanna nee doodide

Kanmunde neen iddare,ee lokake naa dore

Hosa samvatsara hosa manvantara

Shuru vagide aegide eega….

For each happiness that i am experiencing today

i will give it your name

you have put an end to my loneliness

you have pushed me onto the beautiful heaven

if you are in front of me it feels like am the king
New calendar, new architecture
is starting now

Modala maleyente edege ilide mellage

Modala kanasante olave olide ommege

Chachidaa kaige aakashave taagide

Gichida haage malebille maigantide

Hosa samvastara hosa manvantara

Shuruvaagide aagide eega….


You have descended into my heart slowly like the first rain
I have started liking you instantaneously just like the first dream my love
Am able to touch the sky with my outstretched hands

The rainbow is pasted to my body as if someone has scratched it

New calendar, new architecture
is starting now

What's on your mind?

This post is dedicated to my best friend G who has been asking me to write about 'how and why we need to express ourselves'? I had been putting off this topic as I hadn't taken it seriously but today for some reason I have realized why it is very important to express oneself. So G this post is for you (and mind you am writing before the deadline you had given me- close(d) friend's birthday. Though you had asked me to write a book this is the best I could do)

In one real-life situation, I was asked a question as to what according to me is needed to make a relationship stronger? I was taken aback on with this question and that too from a person whom I had just met.

I took a deep breath and told that the strength of a relationship lies in honesty, straight-forwardness and also the fact that we must learn to express ourselves in a way where-in we have to put forth our views in front of the people who are with us such that it doesn't inflict pain (read as sugar coated where necessary). The person may have not understood the underlying meaning behind my words but I strongly feel that communicating our views and concerns will definitely make way for a stronger bond between people thus helping us in the long run.

More often than not, people part mainly because of misunderstandings and a lot of presumptions caused due to mis-communication or the lack of it which can generally be avoided by sitting and pouring out.

There was yet another incident when G and myself had confronted another good friend of ours who had distanced herself from us abruptly. The answer that we got was that we can express ourselves well while she couldn't. If only she had expressed herself, we could still have been the thick of friends.

Well as a matter-of-fact, these are just a couple of incidents though in reality there are a lot of incidents where we need to talk. Say for instance a married couple, parents-children, manager-reportee, if need arises strangers, a guy and a girl when they are contemplating marriage (as is the case in arranged marriages) where the trust and knowledge about each other can increase only by expressing.

A lot of people face problem in expressing themselves as
a. They feel that their language quotient is not good enough
b. They tend to their egos more than the relationships
c. Their insecurities, for instance there are a lot of people who feel that if I tell my friend, partner, sibling about the issue, then they may feel that the information can be used against them at a later point of time and also that the former is considered insignificant than the latter or that the former will be degraded
d. Mostly people do not know how and why they should communicate.
e. Lack of confidence

The truth is unless we express people won't know what is going on in our minds. Sometimes the people around us can give better clarity and simpler resolution to the in-numerous battles that the mind is engaged in.

What more, even facebook, the most popular social networking site asks- 'what's on your mind' to update the status?

Come on people lets make our lives as well as the lives of people around us and most importantly of those whom we are close to, a lot simpler by expressing ourselves better..

If you have been an introvert, start by talking to your people whom you are close to such as your friends, family or better your reflection in the mirror to get the confidence to talk to people.

Guess what my favorite author agrees with me. This is what she had shared on her FB wall :)

So what's on your mind?

Workaholic me!!!

People in my close circles often feel that I am very much career-oriented, a go-getter, a workaholic who refrains from living 'life'.
Seldom do they know or understand the continuous rumblings if my mind which have taken the better on me and overpowered me, rendering me helpless.

Little did I know the consequences of doing something which everyone do. Nor was I lucky enough to enjoy to taste the fruit of the hard work.

I chose myself to be busy always so that my mind (as well as the heart) dint get much of free time to do trampoline as and when it wished.

I chose to pursue my dream of having a PG degree. I was too involved in my own routine to even breathe in the past sixteen months that today I dread at the thought of Friday evenings for which most people of my age look forward to so that they can have their 'their' time which includes hanging out with friends, family etc. The so called busy schedule came to an end this may when my theory classes got over and since then the Friday and Saturday nights are the most difficult to spend without thinking of the past happenings of life.

Lastly to all people I know and who are close to me, all I wanted to tell you is, I love doing a lot of things. For instance-travel, read novels, listen to mind-soothing music, draw, paint, write, watch movies with my good friends which I fully intend to do.

I need the right push and companionship to pursue my interests and mainly the courage to get over my fears of various things that makes a long list

Luv you all for giving me my time and space..