Naa aana iss des lado!!

I was reading this post on a fellow blogger's blog and it brought tears to my eyes. The blogger had described her early life in a post which goes as follows: 

"The day her mother delivered her,she refused to even look at her let alone feed her just because she was girl and her mother wanted a male child. After a few days she was sent to her gran's place to be looked after. After a few years she was brought back however her mother's hatred continued towards her."


Such incidents happen even today. Whenever a woman gets pregnant, the so called elders bless her as 'may you be the mother of a bubbly little boy'. If she delivers a girl child it is portrayed as a sin and that there is some problem with the 'mother'.


Though women have got reservations in the parliament, in trains, buses, government offices and the world is screaming about gender equality being enforced everywhere, we still stand afar from the so called 'equal' status.

As girls, we are confined to the four walls in the house and restricted from playing or going out with others. Right through our childhood we are made to compromise our desires and lead life as per the wishes of our parents. We are made to sacrifice our dreams of spreading our wings and go flying. 

Today, though a lot of women have made it big in a diverse quarters, there are a lot many women who are still confined to their houses.

A girl is expected to listen to and follow her parents instructions till she gets married failing which she may not be considered a good 'marriage material'. The day she gets married, she has to stop helping her parents though her husband and in-laws are doing exceptionally well. Even her parents stop telling her their problems as she doesn't belong  to their family anymore as goes the popular saying in kannada- 'kotta hennu kulakke horage' which transliterates to 'a gal after marriage is out of clan'.


After marriage, the girl is expected to follow the weird rules laid out by her husband and his parents. The girl is expected to consider the new house as hers though the 'new' family doesn't consider her to be one amongst them. Sometimes the problems at the in-laws will not be spoken of in-front of her for the sole reason that she is new to the family and doesn't belong to the family yet. There starts the dilemma in the girl- where does she actually belong - her birth house or her in-laws house (or should i say whom does she belong to?)

Though she is the backbone of all the families, the one who takes up all the gargantuan and smaller tasks, sacrificing her life throughout, she is far from being accepted and acknowledged for her contribution and support towards it.

Though we say that there is women empowerment today as compared to two or three decades earlier, it takes a lot of open minded people and major change in the way people think to give the women what they actually deserve.

Will she ever be accepted the way she is without having her wings clipped?

Will there ever be a never-sagging support from everyone and more importantly her family till she succeeds?

Will there ever be a cushion when she falls?

Will she be given enough time to empower herself?

Or should we continue praying god for the male progeny and silently whisper- 'Naa aana iss des laado'!!

Are you mature yet??

There are times when.. 

   You know that you are being rude towards a person, yet you continue to be, just not to hurt the other person with the truth and sometimes not to hurt yourself..
 You need to clarify something to a person yet you choose to remain silent just to show that you do not care or when you know that the answer can change the person's life..
  You know that you deserve a response or clarification behind a person's actions yet you choose to let things be as you feel that the unknown is better than the known..
  You know that you are bring avoided by a person yet you continue to pretend that you are unaware..
  You know that you are hurt by a person and want to avoid the person completely yet you continue to be there for the person..
  You know that someone needs you during their bad times yet you choose to leave the person alone just to make the person strong and independent..
  You know that you are not being loved by that someone who means a lot to, you yet you continue to love them silently just in the hope that your love may be acknowledged and reciprocated someday..
  You know a person loves you dearly yet you don't reciprocate it and let it go just to avoid hurting the person and sometimes yourself..
These are the times when the heart rules over your mind and at other times, the kid in you vaporizes to make way for the mature you..
Whom to hold account for at these times - the other person or the mature you?

You deserve someone better!!

Loving someone is easy however continuing to shower love to the person is way too difficult for many of us.
 
None of us are sure as to what and why things go wrong eventually. Primarily, expectations are what makes us apart. We tend to expect the person to treat us in a way we have been treated in the initial days of the relationship. 

The 'miss you', 'love you', 'let's meet up', 'can't wait to see you' kind of messages give way to 'talk to you later', 'am busy right now', 'Can't meet, stuck up with some work'. 

When things go from bad to worse and the road ahead is a dead-end, the most common excuse people come up with is 'You are good so you deserve someone better'.

My question is why say 'you deserve someone better' and not put efforts to become 'better' to the extent the person deserves?