Life Goes On..

Am I a good person?
This is a question that every individual has to ask himself if he is able to answer this question satisfactorily/ with pride then he has a long way to go
As kids, we all tend to be sweet, innocent and unaware of this world.. As we grow older, life slaps us and thrashes the innocence out of us thus leaving us bare to face the reality.. on facing the reality, we tend to kill the real us, for the world doesn’t care about sweetness. May be the innocent, good part of us never dies we just trample it for the fear of being mocked by the society
Life is not about what we want to do, but about what we ought to do. Yet it doesn’t offer us the same chance twice

We all tend to make sacrifices for the people we love, yet we try not to bring such sacrifices into light as we feel that it may hurt the person for whom the sacrifice was made. Sometimes a few questions pops up- if the sacrifice is worth it at all or does the sacrifice serve its purpose?
Sometimes we go ahead and sacrifice everything for the sake of love, at times we sacrifice love for everything around us. In either case, the benefactor doesn’t realize the sacrifice thus causing pain (though unintentionally). Yet there are times when people around us move on and we seem to stagnate in the same place where we stand and other times when we pretend infront of others that we have moved on but the pain of separation/ sacrifice/ memories of the beloved still lingers

The irreversible regret..
Unspoken love..
Unspeakable secret..
Unkept promise..
Unheard request..
An irreplaceable loss..
Unreachable dreams..
Unforgettable first love..
These are the gifts of life to us. Still life is about being happy anyhow.. cos everything in life can be summed up in three words.. “IT GOES ON”
Life goes on..
As it never ends
But I still believe…

The story of my heart

When I had everything, I was welcomed wherever I went… but today I’m sad and alone. I’m going to be bitter and distrustful of people because one person betrayed me. I’m going to hate those who have found their love cos I never found mine. And I’m going to hold onto what little I have cos I’am too insignificant to conquer the world.
We see the world in terms of what we would like to see happen, not what actually does.

I have no one to lose except my family probably the love for them is what’s keeping me alive in times of uncertainty and mental turmoil. People whom i trust have always betrayed and moved on leaving behind only their memories to cherish which at times is more painful than the betrayal itself. Where do I cry? Whom do I share my feelings with? When I look back I see that I have no one to pull me up when I fall. At times though I feel that I have the world with me yet when the reality dawns upon me why do I feel that its just me beside me?
Suddenly my world has fallen silent because my soul has.. Sometimes I sit and stare blankly at the endless sky wishing that everything will end forever at the moment
All we get is to live with our mistakes. Firstly I made a mistake having befriended you. Life been much simpler and without having known you.. yet today its your words and deeds that bringforth tears as sadness that swells my heart.
I don’t dare to dream today nor di I make any efforts in realizing the dreams I so cherished cos I fear that if my dream is realized, I’l have no reason to go on living
Even though I complain sometimes, its cos I’m the heart of a person and people’s hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, cos they feel that they don’t deserve them, or they will be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go far away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in sands. Because when these happen, we suffer terribly
But the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. Yet the reality is no heart suffers when goes in search of its dreams

Confessions of a wounded heart

One song is playing in my mind and also on my phone’s play list since a couple of days. Since the first time I have heard this song, I have fallen in love with it. Each time I listen to it, your memories come gushing to my mind
These are a couple of lines from the song which are special to my heart which goes like this:
“Jo Bhi saanse mein bharu, who tere sang bharu..
Chahe jo ho raastan who tere sang chalu..”
And “Mujhe dhoonde jab koin, tere aankhon mein milu..”
These were exactly the same thoughts that I have cherished since the day I started loving you.

Though I very well know that you have long since stopped loving me (this is evident in your temperament towards me as well as the innumerous conversations where you have specified that you have loved me for a very short period). However I don’t care if you reciprocate my love or not cos I have realized that we should not expect to be loved in return
I had considered myself to be strong and nothing could bog me down until I realized I loved you. As days flew by and our conversations got lengthier, I lost myself completely to you. There came a time when I couldn’t concentrate on anything apart from you. To add to my feelings, you fueled the thought process by talking about us. In reality, though the day never came, I cherish them. Sometimes my eyes swell with tears and more often I console myself thinking that they are haunting memories
I had never thought that someone whom I had not even met could weaken me so much. I accept my mistake of not meeting you inspite of your regular meeting proposals. It was just that I dint want to lose the sweet memories of the couple of unexpected meetings
However I do not want to impose myself or force you to re-consider our relationship as it would be short-lived. I just wish you good luck to move on in life and find a partner who befits your expectations
Good Luck!!!

P.S. This was penned before October but couldn’t post it. Today I am very happy with your decision about your life. I have seen your gal’s pic and she seems to be as u have wanted her to be

The three musketeers

As i was returning home, a trio got down the bus hurriedly and rushed to KFC's this reminded me of my initial days in OFSS when the three of us- Chaz, geez and myself would party hard (lol) in the food court of our techpark..

we have partied during happier times, sad times.. trust me even when one of us would have been scolded by our bosses we would party or when we were scolded by our parents we would party..

the best part was we would be tired, frustrated and angry on the way to the food court but we would emerge as penguins (stuffed till the neck)

earlier the frequency would be once in a week , usually fridays, but later since one of us entered the next phase of life, our outings became less frequent today.. Though the group has increased in size to 8, i miss those special moments shared by the three musketeers.. the bonding and affection that we shared is different..

Thanks gals for making it special