Why am I me?

How can I hate others when all that I have for myself is pure hatred?

While it is easy to love someone why is it that its so darn difficult to love oneself?

What is it that I have done that though there are a lot many people who love me for what I am, I am unable to love myself?

Why is it that when it is easier for people around to brag about themselves, that I find it difficult to even utter a word about what I have been?

Why is it that I cant let me take pride for having done things which a lot many can only dream of?

Why do I feel that i find it easy to push myself hard when things are tough than reward myself when 
it is a job well done?

Why have I let down my parents when all I have wanted is make them proud?

Why am I being curt?

Why am I me?

Yet I can't dream of being anyone else apart from being me.. Is there an end to my mind's rumblings?

Workaholic me!!!

People in my close circles often feel that I am very much career-oriented, a go-getter, a workaholic who refrains from living 'life'.
Seldom do they know or understand the continuous rumblings if my mind which have taken the better on me and overpowered me, rendering me helpless.

Little did I know the consequences of doing something which everyone do. Nor was I lucky enough to enjoy to taste the fruit of the hard work.

I chose myself to be busy always so that my mind (as well as the heart) dint get much of free time to do trampoline as and when it wished.

I chose to pursue my dream of having a PG degree. I was too involved in my own routine to even breathe in the past sixteen months that today I dread at the thought of Friday evenings for which most people of my age look forward to so that they can have their 'their' time which includes hanging out with friends, family etc. The so called busy schedule came to an end this may when my theory classes got over and since then the Friday and Saturday nights are the most difficult to spend without thinking of the past happenings of life.

Lastly to all people I know and who are close to me, all I wanted to tell you is, I love doing a lot of things. For instance-travel, read novels, listen to mind-soothing music, draw, paint, write, watch movies with my good friends which I fully intend to do.

I need the right push and companionship to pursue my interests and mainly the courage to get over my fears of various things that makes a long list

Luv you all for giving me my time and space..

The betrayal

We all tend to make promises but its very difficult to keep upto them. We lie to our loved ones just not to hurt them but have we ever thought of the consequences of they finding out the truth through other means? Well actually no.. We all try to evade from the evident present thus ruining our beautiful tomorrows. Also how far can we live in deceit?
it is better to hurt the person with your truth than strengthen the relationship with your lies. The most common betrayals include hiding our love towards a person and pretending as though we dont care. By the way whom are we pleasing with our care-free attitude? Neither are we happy nor are we maintaining a cordial relation with people around us.
Betrayal may be adjudged as an extension of love but in my humble opinion, its politics - politics of betrayal. All of us would have experienced the taste of proverbial double-cross at some point of our lives.
Usually even if the betrayed realises the betrayal he/she might pretend being ignorant just to save the relationship.
Close kin or 'friends' adept at this kind of politics, who might have stabbed you in the back are worthy of the sobriquet only. In such instances, the "tit for tat" attitude wouldn't behove the victim. One may not have the courage or infact knowledge to be aware of would-be betrayers either. Therefore there is only one wise thing to be done- to strive and become a stronger individual after such experiences and to move on boldly in life..

Lastly we must always love our lives as it alone teaches us the ways to move on and lead a fuller life just as we cherish it to be..
Love you Zindagi

A Letter From Yesterday

Poets often describe Love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that over whelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I dint plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love (at least I think so), despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created for me, love like that has happened only once, and thats the reason every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I will not forget a single moment of it.

I know it can’t be the same between us, but that doesn’t change the way i felt about you then. Though I don’t describe it as a passionate relationship, I am convinced that it is not necessary to be fulfilled in a relationship, even with the person I intend to marry. Passion fades with time, thus allowing companionship and compatibility to take its place.

There have been times when we were not in talking terms and that has been the time when I have missed you the most. Many a times I would feel like contacting you, just to know that you are alright. Though I would draft messages and mails to send you, I would stop myself fearing what I might find. What if you had gone on in your life and I dint want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were together. I don’t want to ever lose that.

U and I were different, coming from different worlds and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better person because of it. I don’t want you to ever forget that.

I am not bitter because of what has happened. On the contrary, I am secure in knowing that we were real, and I am happy that we were able to come together, for even a short period of time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy and remember the good times we have had with each other, learning from each other and growing in love. And may be, for a brief moment, you will feel too, and you will smile back, and savor the memories we will always have together.

I Love you