Expectations!!

Most commonly when the couple meet for the first time in case of arranged marriages (not sure if this applies to love marriages as well), after the preliminary introductions between them once they are sent separately to talk, the first question that either of them ask is 'What are your expectations (from me and from the relationship)?'

This is a googly question cause the more you tell there is a chance that the proposal may not materialize while the less you tell may lead to conflicts later as time progresses if the relationship is sealed.

As a matter of fact though the expectation from a relationship is bare minimum in the initial days, as days go by the basic expectations increase. 

In each of the five meetings that I have had with guys,  barring once I was shot the question first. It seemed to me as though the answer had been memorized and the same answer replayed to each of them. My expectation from the guy I would get married is that he has to take care of my parents as his own and in turn I would treat his's as mine. 

While this is the basic expectation there are a few other things that I would like to list out. The guy I would want to marry must be:
1. Honest
2. Trust worthy
3. Epitome of strength to me
4. Extrovert
5. Straight forward (at times he must know to sugar coat)
6. Respect me
7. Be broadminded (or much better open minded)
8. Non judgmental
9. Have his space and give me mine

10. Lastly accept you for what you are rather than wanting you to change. 

Have i missed anything? do let me know :)

Mind's rumblings

Am not sure whether it is split personality or bipolar disorder that I am suffering from!

There are two me's.. One which asks me to:

1.trust people
2.love somone unconditionally
3.care for people around me
4.help the needy
5. Empathize with others 

Yet there is the second part of me that is more realistic and rings appropriate warning bells whenever I try to do any of the things that I have specified above and awakens the other me. It makes me recall the certain untoward and unexpected incidents that have happened over the past two years-

1. betrayals in friendship and in love..
2. Mistrust of people close to you..
3.The occassions when I couldn't get solace or support from people around me..
4.The rough times when I needed a shoulder to cry and I was offered none as the latter part took the better of me and refrained me from telling things to certain close people until I was strong enough to laugh off the incidents in the fear that others may laugh at my endeavours.

Which 'me' is going to win eventually?

Will I go back to become what I was a few years ago?

Will there ever be an end to the continuous raging battle in the form of my mind's rumblings?

May the best thing win.. Or has it already won in the process of reforming me into the person I am today- 'matured' and 'resilient'

You are being watched!!!!

As i finished reading the book- 'A Special Relationship' by Douglas Kennedy (the author of internationally best selling book which was filmed 'The Pursuit of Happiness') the happenings of the past year which was a complete disaster barring a couple of things flashes across my eyes.

In the novel the protagonist's life turns helter skelter by her actions and words with the only person whom she trusts- her lover turned husband. It ends with a positive note though with how her reaction to the negatives and her sticking to her principles reinstates her life.

The downturn of events in my life started last may and everything that i have said, everything that i have done, everything that i have been has been used against me and has turned me into the person i am today..

Lost the friend who meant a lot as a result of what i had done- value my self-respect when the need arose..

Lost the love of my life as a result of what i had been- trusting him completely and hoping that he would stick to his words which eventually turned out to be only words with no feelings or meaning.

Lastly the result of what i had said- I opted for a team change in the same organisation and my boss screwed my appraisal. He thought that by hampering my appraisal he could cause distress in my personal life.

Thanks to all these which have made me stronger at the cost of losing trust on the words- friendship, love and forcing me to eye people with suspicion.

Hurting sentiments and feelings has become a favorite hobby of everyone around so better be careful about
                    what you are!!
                            what you do!!
                                    what you say!!

for everything can be taken down and used against you. The more cautious you are and the more introvert you are helps you lead life better.. You are being watched, analyzed and evaluated each moment of your life..

Matter of Trust

Trust is a tricky thing; it takes ages to gain it and one split second to lose it. If today we are leading a life full of stress, one huge factor responsible for it is the lack of trust. Be it familial, social or professional bonds trust is increasingly missing, making life more challenging than ever before.

Work on the self

It all starts with the self. If we want to trust people, we first need to be trustworthy. “Each of us has three personalities. One that you think you are; one what people think you are and the third what you actually are”.It’s only when we have coordination between our thoughts, words and deeds that we are able to create an atmosphere of trust around us

Communication & confidence
Any bond requires some level of confidence to last. The very first rule of building trust is being communicative; second is keeping issues to oneself.Things go haywire only when the parties concerned move out of the precincts of bonds and talk about our trouble to others. “It works if you share the problem with the person concerned and not everyone else who are not a party,”. “Also, one needs to keep in mind that people evolve with time. If one is able to keep pace with the partner trust gets cemented, which makes the relationship stronger,”.
Cultivate the habit
Be ready to keep your word if you want to trust and be trusted. It’s difficult to build trust, but if one is determined it’s not impossible either. One needs to cultivate some habits. “Thinking good of others in daily actions builds trust; if you are caring towards your fellow colleagues, friends, family and do not indulge in actions that you know will upset them, you can build trust,”

Testing times

In a setting where we all are competing against each other, trust is difficult to find. “In a society where the whole value system is changing, the very family where the foundation of trust is laid is missing. Where are the grandparents, uncles, aunts and home full of cousins that taught us important values like sharing, caring and trusting? Unless we curb the urge to surge ahead of others in every walk of life, trust is a difficult to build,”

Source: Internet