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Monday, January 7, 2013

A dream worth forgetting...

Swasthi awakened with a start, and after a moment she sat up, blinking, adjusting her eyes to the pre-dawn darkness. The room was filled with silence. She was still thinking of her dream, the first in the last twelve months, which was surreal.

She remained still, breathing deeply, pushing away the feeling, knowing that it was... just a feeling.

She lay on her bed thinking why she had got the dream when it couldn't materialize. But then, every happening has a validity, is vivid, lifelike; even now as she rested against the pillows, she recollected his face as she had seen his profile pic in a networking site a few months ago.

A tear droplet ran down her cheek making a blotch on the white pillow case having pink florets. She could feel the damp of the droplet and her thoughts took her to the world which she had dreamt when he was in her life. Slowly the tears turned out to be a small stream thus breaking the revire of her thoughts.

She sat up, switched on the bedside lamp, slid her legs across the floor and walked to the couch that lay at the other end of the room. She realized that she was bathed in sweat despite the chill.

She sat down on the couch, folded her legs, she could feel the chill of the wind that was seeping into the room through the crevice in the window. She was staring into the blank wall in front of her, contemplating the dream she had a few minutes back.

He was there beside her, talking to her in the same husky voice,  twitchy smile on his lips and  sparkle in his eyes. Post which he held her hand and apologized to her for having dumped her without any fore-warning despite knowing how much she loved him.

The dream was rooted in an uncanny reality and had shaken her. A question hovered over her mind.. Why the dream now that it has almost been an year since he had gotten married and had moved out of country along with his bride to set up a new home away from the home that they (swasthi and he) had imagined..

Does he even remember her? guess no.. He seemed to be very happy and adjusted to the life he had carved for himself.

The memories that they have had together came flooding through her mind. They had met through a common friend. What started off as casual friendship had turned out to be more in less than five months, the bond being such that they couldn't be without talking to each other and expressing their emotions for even a single day.

The second time they met, he took her for a ride on his bike. the brief handshake they had, had given her a frisson, and this shivery feeling ran through her spine. Like in the movies, he was seeing her through the rear view mirror and having sensed that she was blushing sitting behind.

Then they went to a coffee bar, ordered cold coffee for both of them and spoke as if there was no end. later he dropped her to the nearest stop where she could get a bus back home as she had refused his offer to be dropped near her home.

As he reached home, he called her to tell she looked gorgeous in the black kurta and the creame pant. She said he looked good in the green t-shirt. After hearing this he blew a first kiss to her over the phone which she reciprocated.

She was still thinking about that day when she heard the bark of the neighbour's dog that brought her to reality. Suddenly she sat up straighter and thought why she had got the dream which had him? it was then that she realized that she had dozed off while reading the fiction- secret wishlist by her favorite author Preeti Shenoy. She was reading the part wherein the protagonist makes a secret wishlist due to her cousin's force.

It dawned to her then that though she had started believing that she had moved on in life, she still loved him. Suddenly there was a wrench in her stomach and her hand slid from across her chest to clutch her stomach. Tears started rolling down and she let them flow, sobbing as though her heart would break, until finally there were no tears left in her.

Glancing at the small clock on her bedside table she saw that it was already four a.m. On an impulse she so wanted to tell him what happened, but stopped and pushed herself up out of the coach very purposefully, and, turning off the lamp, she went back to bed.

He was married to someone else and that was that. Sadly, she was  still single.

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